Eating Muffins

Halme Polvinen Family Collective. You will all be assillymated

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  • by

    Posted by jukkahoo

    Erittäin paljon kiitoksia kaikille eilen paikalle ilmestyneille ihmisille ja nelijalkaisille ystävilleni! Kemut olivat perin mukavat ja ihmismäärän paljoudesta huolimatta(!) juuri sellaisen rennot kuin toivoinkin. Hoidosta toipuminen on ollut ehkä tavallistakin vaikeampaa, mutta ehkäpä pikku hiljaa se ns. elämä alkaa voittamaan. Maut ja hajut alkavat tuntua oikeanlaisilta ja maailma ei pyöri enää ollenkaan niin pahasti kuin vielä viime viikolla. Merkittävää on myös se että olen kokannut jo kahtena päivänä peräkkäin – ja ihan OK ruokaa, jos saan itse sanoa. Chiliäkin oli “pakko” syödä ja kyllä kitalaki sen muistikin vielä tänään.

    Tänään on ollut erittäin rela päivä, mitä nyt tuossa lumihangessa tarpominen kauppaan ostamaan tomaattisäilykkeitä (söitte mokomat eilen kaiken!) pizzaa varten melkein uuvutti miehenpuolikkaan. Mutta ruoka oli kyllä vaivan arvoista.

    —

    Ai niin, oli mulla vielä yks juttu…

    Jos on mahdollista joutua ns. huijatuksi pidemmän kaavan mukaan, niin myönnän tähän syyllistyneeni. En ole aivan varma onko leukani palautunut muun naamavärkin kanssa ojennukseen, sillä sen verta kokonaisvaltaisesti se kopsahti lattiaan tuossa neljän jälkeen eilispäivänä.

    Aivan suoraan siniseltä taivaalta ja todella uutispimennon takaa tullut yllätyslahja on… mieletön, sanoinkuvaamaton (melkein), huikea, upea, lämmin, kaunis ja jotain sellaista, joka koskettaa tällaista vötkälettä todella valtavasti. En tiedä kuinka tämän asian oikein sanoisin, joten sanon sitten ihan suoraan:

    Olen _______.

    Tämä ylittää lähes käsityskykyni. Kiitos. Ja ISO hali.

    Ja kaikille vielä ihmetteleville, tässä todistusaineistoa peiteoperaatiosta “Lappu-Liisat”.

    SUURENMOISET KIITOKSET TEILLE KAIKILLE eli:

    Johanna V-U, Elli, Mervi, Inkeri, Petra, Ninni, Hannele K, Kanerva, Satu, Sari L, Katariina, Maria, Eija, Susanna, Hannele P, Tarja, Merja, Saija, Juho, Johanna S, Anna, Eeva-Liisa, Ylva, Mia, Kaisa, Terhi, Leena, Ilana, Liisa, Päivi, Arja, Marja, Irma, Minna, Maija, Paula, Maarit, Lotta, Tuomas, Senja, Onerva, Hanna, Marianna ja oma pieni Sortavalan lasten peittojen virkkaajani, SariP1.

  • 20.12.2003

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    Posted by jukkahoo

    Ajattelin tässä niin sanotusti viime tingassa viettää kuusikertaakuusi-päiviä ja järjestää niin sanotun

    “Shaunaa, Shushia, Shiliä ja Shalaattia” -kalaasin joulekuun 20. päivänä.

    Paikalle saa saapua sitä mukaa kun jaksaa, ehtii ja on aikaa, mutta mieluusti vaikkapa kello neljän jälkeen. Silloin (about tai ainakin kun herrasväki Vinni on saapunut casa Taliin ja ottanut mukavan asennon sohvalta) pärähtää päälle Kalliovuorten prinssi. Kun elokuva on ohitse, lähtee peliin blooper-nauha. Blooperoidi on mahdollisesti katsottavissa myös myöhemminkin.

    Vielä myöhemmin (mutta oletettavasti siinä seitsemän maissa) on tarjolla luvattua saunaa, sushia ja salaattia sekä tietenkin papuja ruskeassa kastimessa jauholihan kera. Och kryddor. Sushia tehdään ns. opetusmielessä eli rullaati-rullaa kaikki halukkaat.

    Juomapuoli on vapaa, mutta on aivan mahdollista että voin tarjota Wild Cherry Pepsiä ansiokkaille sushin rullaajille! Jeh, ei meillä spelailla napeilla kun on noppia.

  • Irritating

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    Posted by jukkahoo

    I seem to have developed a cough that I can’t get rid of. It’s not really all that bad, but it manifests itself during nights. As in when I’m trying to sleep. There’s also this disgusting taste in my mouth I’m not too fond of. You know, the one that tastes a bit like the lint in your bellybutton, after it has been marinated in some concoction consisting of dairy products gone bad, old socks and rotten fruits. And then some.

    It’s just a wee bit irritating at the moment. When I have more or less been thru it all and it looks like one of these days my life would (again! happy to say) be like it used to be: occasional bad breath, but nothing that brushing ones teeth wouldn’t cure. Or a menthos.

    There is also the phlegm. It most likely irritates the throat, thus causing the bleeding cough. Occasionally it gets a bit difficult and I have this ghastly sensation of needing to throw up which soon turns into coughing. Or vice versa (that ABC used to be). Odd, isn’t it? And irritating when the writer just leaps off the tangent and does that. But I digress (which I just love to say whenever possible).

    Mostly I’ve been OK. My brother came the other day and tried to carry every single bottle of Wild Cherry Pepsi from SMarket to our apartment. Many a bottle. We also tried this new kebab/pizza service. Not good. Pizza was OK’ish, but kebab was just flat, dull and uninspired. Boring. Avoid Dilber. But with a name like that, most of you probably already have.

    I’m going to go shopping. Tuesday that is. Them julklappar. Apparently it’s Christmas time. Jopas! And I really need to find something really bright and clever for my sister’s kids.

    They’ll get books. But my mother? And that pesky brother-in-law! (Pesky as in good way.) Anoppi? Appi? My mother, did I mention her? Sister, yep… Difficult.

    There are plenty of people to whom it is fun and easy to but presents. They are vocal about what they like, they are easily enthused and world is full of little things and bits that they like. Do you have these problems, my loyal readers? DO you find it easy to buy presents to YOUR loved ones?

    Money helps. Adequate sum of money (like, say €25 000) would easily solve all my problems. Present-wise.

    End of rant. I’ll go and brush my teeth again and try to go back to sleep. Nighty-night and seasonal groanings!

    Hei Eija!

  • Credo quia est impossibile

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    Posted by jukkahoo

    Wahuu! Viimeinen sytostaatti on jo kaukana menneisyydessä, eikä seuraavaa ole tulossa herran tieköön. Hyvä meidän jengi!

    Meni itse asiassa loppujen lopuksi ja enemmänkin kuin uskoinkaan paremmin, kuin luvattiin. Ei etteikö olisi paha olla tai oksettaisi aina välillä ihan niin ku sillee, mutta ainakaan ei tunnu nyt (nok nok, kuka siellä? nokkaeläin) niiiin pahalta kuin edelliskerran jäljiltä (ja sairaalassa ollessa). Luulen että hyvinvointilääkkeillä oli osansa pelissä. (Miksi niitä nimitetään pahoinvointilääkkeiksi? Haluaako joku to-DEL-lakin voida pahoin ehdoin tahdoin? – hän sanoi miettien seuraavia sangollisia alkkomahoolia synttäreiden ja joulun kunniaksi…, tai siis onhan mulla näitä lääkkeitä tosin aika PALJON, heh heh heh)

    Seuraava virallinen sairaalaakäynti tapahtuu 19. joulukuuta ja silloin isketään taas verta. Se on mafian jälkeinen päivä ja jo ihmettelin kuinka paljon alkomahoolilla veressä on vaikutusta. Ei kuulemma juurikaan. Kunhan hengitys ei haise valkosipulilta, niin laboranttikin tykkää, eikä ns. "etsi" sitä suonta… Hauskaa sairaalahuumoria.

    Sitten onkin seuraamusten ajankohta kaukainen maaliskuun idus. Hyvää syntymäpäivää veriveljeni.

    Tuomo (kolmas) antoi hyvän neuvon tai oikeastaan hoitoohjeen:

    "Juuri nyt, loppuelämä voi odottaa." Eli seuraavat kuusi viikkoa, joka on sellainen terveeksi julistetun syöpäpotilaan rauhoitusaika, minä aion olla ja ottaa asiantilan rennosti ja juuri niin kuin minä haluan.

    Doctor’s orders, you see.

    "The rest of the life can wait right now." As said by my doctor Tuomo (the Third), meaning that I ought to take the next six weeks off, minding my own business, taking my time, listening what my body tells me and generally – relax, regroup and get ready for the world Out There.

    I’m happy, slightly nauseous, but hey! – what’s new about that? Then.

    I’ll be hovering at home for few days now, hopefully feeling better after the weekend and then I’ll start growing my hair. Other things:

    – go eat sushi at a proper sushi-place, anyone interested accompanying?
    – movies, haven’t seen them in ages.
    – meeting with the king in 19th…
    – divarikierros
    – buy all the available Wild Cherry Pepsi bottles from the S-Market (High Priority this one !!!) It’s evidently a seasonal product. What, like for winter?

    Otherwise, I’m going to take it verrrrra sllllooooouuu.

    The unveiling of the NAME of the Dishwasher Approacheth! 

    Happy Hanukkah!

  • Things that have happened

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    Posted by jukkahoo

    I have a lot to write about. I’ll start from the beginning:

    First there was light and somebody said: “Congratulations Mrs Halme, it’s a boy!”

    Hang on! That never happened (or not like that anyway)!!! I’m fairly certain the midwife/doctor/nurse who helped to deliver into this world, spoke perfect Finnish. And I’m certain that I have no idea what happened then (almost 36 years ago) and whether the nurse in Q was as enthusiastic as I may have portrayed her here. Then again, the exclaimer may have been a man. Who knows? (“Who cares?“, said the bored reader.)

    Exactly! What are you doing here reading my blog, when you ought to be viewing your new The Two Towers DVD! I have only managed to get thru most appendixes plus the the part with audio commentaries. But since I’m eating these pills that supposedly make one drowsy….snore…

    SO it was last Friday and the Glorious Llama del Oro Cup was under way. To those of you who neither speak Spanish, nor know the intricasies of the Finnish SF Tabletop Hockey Federation, a word. The Golden Llama Cup is an Annual Receptional Tournament where only the best and brightest (and living in Helsinki Metropolitan area) tabletop hockey players gather and test their prowess. There will be a linkki to the results and numbers in due time (maybe next year…) The most important thing to tell here is that the Games was a resounding succéss and that the Llama del Oro has a new home (Thanks to Vesa Lehtimäki, the former Champion, who had to withdraw at the last minute), SO congratulations, Supreme Commander!!! Also in need (more that deservedly) of congrats is the ever fluviuos and incongruent Pelimies, whom held us all agog by defeating an opponent!

    Saturday was not that important. I may have slept quite a lot due to some icky bonepains from the Neupogen.

    Sunday was the Official Day of Culture. We managed to raise our butts from the sofas, where we had more or less been layabouting since the 18th (which should have been the original TTT-DVD -release date, but NOOOOO! You bloody Germans!!!) and headed to Malmitalo in order to catch our lovely neighbour Fionna and her company’s (The Finn-Britt Players) rendition of Beautiful Bodies. It is a chick-play about six thirtysomething friends who are facing the future a bit hard; having a baby, breaking up a relationship, finding a new guy, unable to let go of something that most probably doesn’t exist anymore and so on. I liked, not necessarily loved it, but I was most pleasantly surprised by the professionalism of the actors. You guys we’re very good!!! I was especially taken by the Queen Bitch Martha, who had most of the best lines. And boy, was she mean or wot?

    The play was funny, but had some disturbingly strong images of loss and pain, which complemented the overall chick-ness of things. I mostly smiled a lot. I guess I had to dampen my hilarity a bit, since when I and/or BRIAN BLESSED start to laugh, the play stops and the actors turn to me/us.

    After the show I took a cab and managed to get to the DDR Ice Rink in time to see how HIFK ruled the first period as We wanted (I sincerily cannot fathom how the officials managed to get four Blues shots against El Greco???). In the end We did win it by 2 to 1, but it should have been a massacre.

    Monday was early. I had to get to the Cancer Clinic by half 9, so that I could be at the Surgical hospital at nine time and get meself a CT Scan. Kexy called me just before I was getting ready to go to the blood test in Meilahti and said that she could drive me to Downtown, where the Surgical Hospital is. As it happens, 9AM doesn’t mean 9AM. Neither does it mean 9.15 or 9.30, or even 10AM. What it meant was, that I had to wait for an E.R. patient (of course, THAT goes without saying) and suffer the relative indignity of being stabbed by some very pointy and sharp thingies by a nurse and three doctors, who tried in vain to find a vein from my arms… (there’s a wordplay there…heh). FINALLY the Head of the Anesthesiology found one and I was ready to go and be scanned. The vein was pumped with “varjoaine” (contrast medium?) BTW.

    Tuesday I went back ho the hospital and redied myself for the sixth chemo session. To put it bluntly: this one was the most disgusting yet and I felt miserable and sick the whole time. Almost projectile vomiting and constant nause. This really would have taken the cake, if not for the news…

    I DO NOT CONTAIN CANCEROUS CELLS!

    I may contain multitudes as well and free radicals, but as far as my computer tomography pictures show I do not have cancer.

    The future promises (still – sigh!) yet another chemo (number 7) but then it’s gonna be follow-ups, meaning blood tests and scans. And maybe, maybe in 2008 I’ll be all right. Feel free to congratulate me!

  • Making a list

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    Posted by Sari

    There are about a dozen subjects I have thought I should blog about during the last week or so, but I tend to forget everything when I am actually in front of the machine. Some of them however are:

    1) Google Trackbacks. Most of ours are very mundane and logical kind: people who know about the blog and try to find it, or people who are looking for information about cancer in general or lymphoma in particular and stumble to the site on the page four or six or whatever on google. One of the most popular click-throughs has resulted from the fact that there are other people in this world besides me who tend to misspell Caribbean and get sent here in search of info an a certain movie. But then there are the few quite original ones. Like "Liver and hair growth" and "feeling like shit".  I can proudly inform you that looking for the latter in Finnish (paska olo) Muffins is the second hit in Finnish google.  I am also thinking that the someone who was directed here by a search of roughly something like "held prisoner in bed" did not exactly get what s/he was after 🙂

    2) A paean to Dr James. She (yes she, this time I am not making a pronoun mistake. James is her surname, but somehow we just got into habit of calling her just James)  is just the greatest doctor we could wish for. Its not like our doctors one through four and six were in any way bad, quite the contrary, but with James, we both just "clicked". She has a great sense of humor, seems interested in her patients and is very good at inspiring confidence. So go James, say we 🙂

    3) Ultraviolet. Has any of you seen this British vampire series from 1998? I just borrowed the DVD from Tarja few weeks back and thought it was excellent.  Dramatic tension and ambiguity held through all six episodes and, despite going all technobabble on vampire mythos, the series has that indefineable British feeling of "real" that American series lack. And for my fellow Austenites: the female lead is played by Susannah Harker. Now if they only had had English subtitles for hearing impaired I would have been completely happy. As it was Jack Davenport mumbles so badly that sometimes I just could not understand what he was saying…

    4) Prince of the Rockies Rocks! I know this has been mentioned before but I just want to reiterate how much fun the film (and the making of it) was. This is the amateur western our friends Petri and Hannele shot last summer. Jukka plays a really stupid sidekick to the villain; Mika P (purveyor of excellent H.A.D -ware) was a tribe of Cheyenne indians, my mother (aged 69 and with two artificial hip-joints) was the stunt rider for the production, and the horse (of course) was our Palantir. Rio Bravo it ain’t but even after seeing a number of rough cuts, the finished end-result is nothing to be ashamed of. The priemiere yesterday was a resounding and deserved success.

    5) I have been reading up on how exactly does chemotherapy stop cells from multiplying, heady stuff for a humanist I can tell you. Anyone know a good primer to cellular biology? Anyway, and now I have to switch to Finnish because no way in Hell am I going to translate this. Eli sivuvaikutuksiltaan ehkä rajuin Jukan saamista systostaateista on Doksorubisiini josta Farmakologia and Toksikologia teos sanoo luvussa "kasvainten kemoterapiaa" mm. seuraavaa (obs PDF-dokkari): "Keskimmäisten renkaiden kinoni- ja hydrokinonirakenteen takia doksorubisiini voi luovuttaa ja vastaanottaa elektronin ja muodostaa vapaita radikaaleja, jotka reagoivat hapen kanssa muodostaen superoksidin." Toisesta sytostaatista, Syklofosamidista samainen tietolähteeni sanoo seuraavaa: "Sellaisenaan syklofosfamidi on inaktiivinen, mutta maksan mikrosomaalisen sytokromi P450 -järjestelmän avulla se aktivoituu useiksi metaboliiteiksi. 4-hydroksisyklofosfamidi ja aldofosfamidi diffundoituvat hyvin intrasellulaaritilaan jossa niistä muodostuu fosforamidisinappikaasua, sytotoksisen vaikutuksen kannalta tärkeintä metaboliittia."  Tapani voi ehkä kertoa mitä se oikeasti tarkoittaa mutta Jukka oli lähinnä hyvin otettu siitä että hänessä on siis sekä vapaita radikaaleja, superoksideja että sinappikaasua. Hän on jo suunnittelemassa uutta supersankariuniformua…

    Okay, not exactly a dozen but  it is a start.

  • Home again

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    Posted by jukkahoo

    As it says.

    Feeling very bad the whole day. Gagging, feeling sick, tasting the bile and everything that’s been churning in my stomach (mostly yesterday’s pizza, I’d guess from the taste of it). Eating lots of Temesta, fairly effective tummypill with the additional side-effect of drowsiness. Slept a lot.

    The stiches being removed in 13th day have left one heck of a scar! It’s still slightly open in places, so that it oozes ever so slightly of reddish… blood? I shouldn’t raise my left arm above the shoulder level, but I woke up last night couple of time while doing so. Should I tape/band my laft arm to my side? The underarm feells… wrong and there’s a very stupid looking "bag" at the end of the scar on my backside. And the scab itches, quel surprise. These things always itch. I hope I won’t scratch it broken in my sleep.

    So, chemo No. 5. I talked with Dr. James (the Fifth) and after she offered a CT-scan after the sixth chemo, I opted for one before it, since it has actually been a good while since the last one. James looked at her papers and realised that the patient was actually right, so I’m having one next week, just before I’ll receive my sixth chemo. There will most probably be a 7th chemo, but anything after that is purely speculative.

    You see (and this is very good news indeedy!) my tumor was dead. As a dodo. Chemo (and or radiation, but highly unlikely) had done the damage, whilst unable to dimish the lump it had nonetheless managed to kill all the bad cancer cells. Or so says the pathologist. Now we have to find out how the darkened spots in my lungs have been taking all this (as previously told, not too good, so fingers crossed!).

    And then we have to find out whether the evildoers have stayed put or… moved to somewhere else altogether. See, this is the problem with bloodcancers, they may just move, leaving no follow-up address. But all in all, this looks like a glorious day for our Team and a day of loss and mourn for the opposition. Yet still… the WAR continues!

  • Continuing

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    Posted by jukkahoo

    So I’m heading back to Meilahti for more chemo. I was there today (for a very brief moment) and Tuomo (the Third) "hmmmm’d" and finally said that it looks "very good". I then looked at the mirror and recommended stronger lenses.

    This is both good and sad. It’s good and proper to continue treatment as soon as possible, since them little buggers are multiplying inside as we speak(!) and chemojuices will (hopefully) make their life a miserable experience. Then again, the very same liquids will make me feel like shit for many a days, but hey, you can’t have both Health and Good Feeling at the same time.

    I read the latest issue of Syöpä – Cancer today and dispite long and boring topics about smoking (which I don’t do, to both of you not knowing me and my habits), there was a nice, honest article about this lady who had had breast cancer – and survived. She pretty much summed up all my experiences so far, all the fears and anxieties, treatments and the following nausea ("consider it like having a 5-6 -day bad hangover and you’re supposed to eat a lot of food-stuff at the same time"). A good one.

    I guess I’ll be staying at the hospital ’til Thursday Noon and then I’ll be back home: hopefully not throwing up.

    Mainos: Kaikki kynnelle kykenevät ja vähän muutkin, suunnatkaa askeleenne ensi perjantaina Klubikellariin ihmettelemään ja ihailemaan verratonta Suomi-Westerniä "Kalliovuorten Prinssi", pääosissa Petri Hiltunen, Vesa Lehtimäki ja Matti Tanska. Ällistykää verevistä erikois-ehvekteistä! Lumoutukaa kauniista maisemista! Stupendoitukaa häikäisevästä artikulaatiosta ja veret seisauttavista näyttelijäsuorituksista! Mukana myös jukkahoo ja musiikki!

  • Oh, and…

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    Posted by Sari

    Two things:

    Firstly concgratulations to Laajis and Aino and Sami for their Finlandia -junior nominations! We are more than chuffed that both Madonluvut and Tatu ja Patu Helsingissä made the cut for this prestigious children’s book award short-list.

    Secondly, insert here the high-minded rant about how commercial christmas seems to begin earlier and earlier every year and then forget I said it. Because I forgive it all just because Fazer’s Christmas Chocolate is already available at our supermarket. It is the bestest chocolate ever; smooth milk chocolate with bits of almonds, raisins, gingersnaps, apple and cherry in it. It smells wonderful and tastes even better. I am going to hoard pounds and pounds of it shamelessly and ask Jukka to hide the cakes so I won’t eat all of it at once.

  • He Jinxed it…

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    Posted by Sari

    I am sure that most of you know by now that I hate doing dishes. Not just dislike, hate. Just few weeks back I did a careful search for the ugliest glazed earthenware plate we had and smashed to the floor just to let out some of my dishwashing rage.

    Few weeks back I was also feeling very tired and hopeless and probably had PMS, so my hormones deciced to do a full days worth of crying first to Jukka’s poor befuddled oncologist (Tuomo, number three), then to my parents and by the way of rounding up the day I drafted my sister as the audience in the evening. And just to make my despair more dramatically coherent I ended up telling my parents how washing dishes has come to symbolise this and that and then they offered to buy me a dishwasher.

    Which was nice. Was more than nice. Was wonderful. And I did not have the strength fo character to say thanks but no thanks. So now I have a dishwasher and a dilemma. What to do next time I feel like a shoulder to cry on? Being cheered up by household appliances is very nice, but, you know, I am supposed to be all grown up an all…

    The jinxing bit refers to the fact that if you confidently predict that delivery guys are bringing your delivery today like Jukka did in Finnish in the last post, it usually means that mr. Murphy steps into the picture. Case in point: I just had a call from our Mr. delivery guy who was delivering our dishwasher to wrong adress, and not even in the same city… I predict it will take some time for him to get here.