Eating Muffins

Halme Polvinen Family Collective. You will all be assillymated

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Category: Lymphoma

  • Squeaky Clean

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    Posted by jukkahoo

    Been a while since I blogged. Sorry about that.

    It's been kinda busy, work is currently fairly important and takes occasionally quite a lot of time, overtime that is. Hopefully that'll change, as I really like my personal time and hobbies as opposed to more money (which certainly is not a bad thing).

    Went to Turun kirjamessut and interviewed Jukka M. Heikkilä about his new novel, Germania. It is a really nice piece of historical fiction, taking place in the year 20AD during the reign of caesar Tiberius (hence the man in the cover) and exploring the wilds of German wilderness, where Rome is just the name of the neighbour beyond the river Rhein. Good stuff, with more than a nod toward Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness as inspiration for the plot, but in a good way.

    Heikkilä has written six novels of Ancient times so far and has really grown into a proper workman of the field. He's not going to be named a Nobel prize candidate any day soon, but he is a very good craftsman, knows his period and yarns a good story. Additional kudos for writing characters that feel real to the period. You can catch our double act at the Helsinki Book Fair the 23rd of October, at the Takauma-stage.

    I spend the night at the house of fellow WH and my bloodbrother herra Koljonen, whose horsebrutality was (as always) excellent! Special citation goes to the 17-year old Glengoyne that we finished during the night. Slainte! Other highlight was the revealing of the Wonderful Library of Mr. Koljonen. Very impressive shelving!

    Saturday was rather tiresome. No fault due to company, met most of the usual suspects (sadly missed busy master Roimola) and enjoyed great chats with Ipa, TeroY, Juri, TeroN, Anne, Boris, Harri, Insinööri, Markku and the rest. No, the reason for my tiredness was the day before, for I had woken up at around 4somethingAM and worked before hopping on the train and to Turku, where after the fair we went to Hannu's place and… well, ate, bathed and drunk quite a lot. Merry times. Good times.

    I would've liked to spend more time in Turku (ah, the Olden Days when I was young and carefree and crashed with people… gone, but not forgotten), but opted for night bus and coming home to tend my fair – if ill – lady. And of course, Martti and Myy.(More dogblogging coming rsn, due to public demand.)

    Sunday has been spent mostly recuperating. I needed that. I mean – this Book Fair business is fun and all, but also very demanding.

    Some sad news, but more importantly, some really good news. I have decided not to attend Kontext, which takes place in four weeks in Uppsala. Both time and money, but mainly time, are to blame. Too little of both, I'm afraid. So, no fun Swefans, no Jon Courtenay Grimwood. Darn.

    "But, alas!", he says triumphiantly. My doctor called and informed that as of this day (Friday to be exact) I am well and truly recovered from my NHL. It's done, it's over. No more.

    Me like. I was a bit inconvinienced by my extra catscan, but if I understand correctly, it was only due to the misunderstanding of the original X-Ray person, who scanned just a fraction too little. Hence the need to scan my neck. I actually spoke with someone during the Turku Book Fair about him having to have gone throught the very same thing with another illness. Nevertheless, I was a bit anxious between the scans and the final call.

    So, lymphoma over and done with. Yay! Hence the title.

    Doesn't of course mean that I would never get another cancer in the future. I know and I will be keeping my eye on things. Like all youse people ought to! Any curious lumps or feeling too tired or painful or something? Go see a doctor and have a check-up. Doesn't matter how old or young you are. Do it anyway. You feel a lot better afterwards, when nothing is found. And doubly better, if something is found and the treatment can begin! Trust me on this.

    Tero has already told (that is if you read Turu Mafia Zine)that we're guest-blogging on Ecstatic Days. Yikes! I'm already at the same time shivering with anticipation and utter dread and terror. Should be an interesting experience.

    Now, more chilling and chocolate.

  • Why Muffins?

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    Posted by Sari

    Most excellent author and translator J. Pekka Mäkelä threw a  meme at us asking why the blog is called "Eating Muffins in an Agitated Manner".

    In the last years of the last millenium Jukka and I played around with an idea of a web journal of sorts, something that would have essays and reviews and whatnot, but never got around doing anything about it. What made us take the leap was Jukka’s cancer. We had lots of friends both in Finland and abroad, so a blog seemed like a good way of keeping everybody updated on his condition. So four years ago August 2003, we started this thing.

    Naming it was surprisingly easy. Wilde’s "The Importance of being Earnest" has always been one of my favourite plays, I have a habit of quoting from it almost as much as from Asterix. We were watching the new movie adaptation (With Rupert Everett and Colin Firth), when Jukka suggested that we might coin a name for the blog from one of my favorite scenes: Jack and Algy have been jilted by their sweethearts for pretending to be Ernest, and take the rejection in very different manner. Here is the scene from the classic 1952 version (beginning at 00.30).

    We liked the symbolism of the name, of muffins representing life and the manner of eating the manner of living. We liked the juxtaposition of frivolous and serious, it resonated both to our own situation and to the fact that Wilde’s most sparkling, shining play was written at a time his life was turning into a nightmare. And we liked the mental image of stuffing your face with muffins in agitation, so very unlike Algy. So that is why we have long unwieldy and silly name for our blog 🙂

  • NaFaWriMo

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    Posted by jukkahoo   

    Time flies when you’re not feeling too good.

    I’ve been somewhat depressed and down these past two months after Finncon. Multiple reasons and I’m not going to go into them, nothing health-wise, though. Next check-up will be in September 2007.

    I’m trying to get over this slump (of creativity and of gigantic proportions) with new regime. First in order of things: I’m calling November the National Fanzine Writing Month. At the end of this month I’ll have material for three fanzines: Arimoniitti #4 (my long-suffering FAPA-zine), Legolas 4/2006 (the Finnish Tolkien Society’s fantasy magazine, with special theme-issue honoring Robert E. Howard – and his century) and the slightly hush-hush fanzine for something I’ll be talking a LOT soon(ish).

    Same rules apply as with the regular NaNoWriMO, but this is not a novel (evidently!) but material for fanzine(s). 50 000 words. I’m expecting to write a fair deal about Finncon, as well as Swecon and various other little meetings (Kirjamessut etc). Åcon, for sure (hey, Hal Duncan!). We may even soon have a place to have the con. Could you believe that Åland hotels are bidding over us? More info ASAWGI.

    Talking about Finncon: our gracious GoH, Mr. Jeff VanderMeer has started doing a new column –  called Dispatches From Smaragdine – for the SF-Site and what is that fungi… erm, fun guy talking about in his first piece? Here is the evidence, pardon if I’ll go and demonstrate the colour of a fire truck to little Myy.

    And why didn’t nobody told me that Propaganda actually a good band and not just the odd German one with that one good song (Duel).

    More soon.

  • I’m OK, you’re OK(?), we’re all OK!

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    Posted by jukkahoo

    Once more I have visited the hotsipal and once more my doctor has told me I’m OK. Blood, CAT and all that jazz were good. Hurrah and huzzah!

    And as it has now been almost two years since the implantation of my veinal gate (laskimoportti), it is due to be removed. Should happen the 10th of Oktober. Sigh! Goodbye my sweet cyborg appliance, who remainded silent thru the Kittilä airport security check, the Seutula one and mightily beeped at the Brusselleux International, thus giving an excuse for that Belgian to frisk me. Farewell!

    I’m taking this as a good sign, and so should you too. I wonder if they let me have the thing? Could it be turned into some kind of a pendant? I think I’ll have to ask.

    Other news: I have been watching the new Galactica. It isn’t half bad. I just said today, that I think it is the best sf-series since DS9. Then Teemu (or was it Marko?) asked whether it is better than Firefly. I have to admit it is a close call, but galactica has better premise and no stupid sooooooooooo out of place element.

    Anyway, me likes. It’s not the best thing since sliced bread, but a very good sci-fi tv-series. I must admit I was more than a bit sceptic about the modernisation of an old and definitely camp series, but Ronald D. Moore has done a very nice job with combining the original idea and characters with today’s perspective. Good casting, though I cannot see the sultriness of that Jessica Simpson -lookalike. Baltar, Starbuck, Adama, Tigh and president; great choices. Not too sure about Apollo, and very uncertain about Boomer. And the human cylons. Too much this "what am I?", "what is love?" and "gee willikins, I can have sex!". And some other things, but as that would really need getting into details, I think I’ll pass. Check it out, though. Jukkahoo says: "verra nizza!"

    What isn’t very nice, is another childhood/teenage love: "Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy". Oh, for f**k sake what a piece of c**p! Laugh-free near two hours, with decent choices as characters, but utterly dismal script and staggeringly fun-free dialogue. How the frag can they manage to distill Adams’ radio-play/books void of anything funny? C’mon, the dialogue was there already! How can you possibly take out all the humour? What kind of a sick joke is this movie? How could that brainless twat at the showing snicker and giggle thoughout the entire movie? How is it possible, that I actually paid good money to see this… travesty? I could’ve just burned the tenner, or wipe my nose with it. Must have been both funnier and less painful that way.

    New Galactica = Good. HHGG-movie = Bad. Health = Good.

    Summa summarum = doubleplusgood. I can live with that.

  • Belated Health Update

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    Posted by Sari

    Jukka had his quarterly check-up on Wednesday, and blood-tests were all OK, actually Maija (fourth) apparently thought the values vere pretty darn good. Which was nice. Actually, it was more than nice.

    Next check-up is in September, and includes a CT-scan.

  • First year in remission

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    Posted by jukkahoo

    The dreaded moment I had been anticipating and waiting with restlesness was over almost before I had time to say respond: "I’m fine". Not a bang of any kind, not even a whizz. Just a short meeting with doctor Number six(?, not really sure, I did remember her as one of the last ones): "everything is fine, all the results are great and the pictures look normal".

    A sigh of relief, turning into a near cardiac arrest with: "This first year is of course the tough one, when lymphoma most likely returns, but the next two years are also very important, as we need to be sure that it doesn’t renew itself". I knew all of this, but the way she said it all just got me off-guard.

    This year, my check-ups will be every four months (late May the next one). We had a wee chat and after I had told her about my sleeplesness (between my tests and the meeting), she wrote me a prescription for sleeping pills. Now I can sleep whenever I want to (as he wrote, while realising that it was already over 2AM…).

    So I’m fine. Again. Needless worrying and all that. I’m just a very happy, healthy man.

  • I didn’t know I’ve been evacuated – at least partially

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    Posted by jukkahoo

    (They seem to have done some renovations here at the TypePad, again. There’s finally strkir

    srtkg

    sktrt strikethrough!)

    I went to see my onkologist. This time he was a very nice (Russian?) fellow, with perfect understanding of Finnish, even though he did "eeeeeeeee" a lot before he (once again) remembered the proper Finnish word.

    I’m hunky dory. The various values were all within normal parameters, mostly very good, he said. My TT-scan was a rousing success, but they noticed some (and here I’m refering to the original report in Finnish): "Vakuuttavaa lymfooman aktivoitumiseen viittaavaa ei ole nähtävissä. Etumediastinumissa pientä epätarkkarajaista tiiviyttä, jonka kliininen merkitys jää epäselväski. Tätä lienee aiheellista pitää silmällä." Apparently there is some kind of unaccurately visible condensation (or summat, feel free to translate the original, my linguistially inclined friends) in my anterior mediastinum .  I’m more happy about the first line that reads more or less like: "No affirmative sign of lymphic activity". I’ll take that as a good sign.

    My doctor also said that a) I’d be going to these tests for nine (9!) more years and b) the implanted port in my chest would stay there for the duration. No problem with neither of these things. Slight inconvinience is a smallish price to pay for certainty. And the policlinic charge of €22.

    The report also said: "Kuvattu natiivina jugulumista symsyyfiin." And: "[…]nekroosiin mennyt vas. kainalon tuumori evakuoitu[…]" Well, I never…

    Now that I’m more or less happily OK, I managed only last night to sneeze a painful hole to the roof of my mouth. I have never ever heard of this and I’d be hard pressed to believe such a thing, but since it did happen to me, I’m inclined to do so. It’s fairly painful (when swallowing) and practically prohibits me from eating anything with a zing to it. Like pretty much anything. I hope it’ll heal soon and why shouldn’t it as mouth is right about the fastest part of our anatomy to heal. With all those good thingybobs in our saliva.

    And now: back to NaNoWriMo.

  • Sanan valta

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    Posted by Sari

    Oletteko te huomanneet miten ruma sana syöpä on? Ihan noin esteettisin kriteerein. Ei se nyt käy korvaan ihan yhtä pahasti kuin kuuluisa puolustuspuhe kissanrääkkäyssyytöstä vastaan, mutta lähelle se pääsee. Vähän kun oksentaisi sanan ulos: syöpä. Etymologialtaan se kai kuitenkin tulee "syödä" -verbistä, sitähän se tauti tekee. Joka tapauksessa, ilkeälle taudille ikävä nimi. Vaan sen käyttäminen on kovsti hankalaa, monta kertaa kun kertoi puolitutulle että Jukalla oli syöpä oikein näki kuinka sana aiheutti aversioreaktion. Helpompaa oli puhua tai kuulla vain kasvaimesta – joka olisi siis teoriassa voinut olla hyvänlaatuinenkin – tai lymfoomasta joka taas kuulosti lääketieteelliseltä jargonilta. Minulle tuli oikein pakkomielle puhua syövästä: syöpä, syöpä, syöpä, syöpä, syöpä: taudin nimi on syöpä kaikki muut ihan yhtä oikeat nimet alkoivat tuntua eufemismeilta. Tuntui hyvältä saada jonkun mielenrauha vähän järkkymään pelkällä sanalla, ihan kuin panisi vahinkoa vähän kiertämään: me eletään syövän kanssa, vähintä mitä te voitte tehdä on kuulla sen nimi.

    Tämä tuli mieleeni kun siirsin lompakosta kahvikassaani kolikoita. Kahvikassa näet on mukava marimekko-kukkaroa muistuttava kangaskukkaro, osa syöpäjärjestöjen rahankeruukampanjaa jossa pyritään tekemään sanaa ja tautia arkipäiväisemmäksi ja vähemmän pelottavaksi. Kampanja on ollut menestys, tuonut syöpärjärjestöille niin julkisuutta kuin rahaakin, mutta myös kritiikkiä. Onko oikein tuotteistaa vakava usein kuolemaan johtava tauti? Ja niin raflaavalla tavalla kuin Paola Suhosen kuosit tekivät.  Mene ja tiedä. Merkittävää ehkä on että vaikka tuotteet ovat myyneet yli odotusten, aika harvoin niitä katukuvassa näkee. Syöpä T-paita jää helposti yöpaidaksi tai mökkiasuksi sen sijaan että rehvastelisi se päällä kylänraitilla.

    Myöntää toki täytyy että mikäli syöpä ei olisi koskettanut näin läheltä omaa elämää, tuskin olisin minäkään kehdannut kukkaroni kanssa viuhua kaupungilla, se antaa oikeutuksen rikkoa tabua.  Joka sekin on problemaattista: kuinka pitkälle oma kokemus antaa mielipiteille enemmän painoarvoa kuin esim. asiantuntemus?

    Tai ehkä minä vaan problematisoin liikaa yksinkertaista asiaa. Ehkä ihmiset haluavat tukea syöpäjärjestöjen työtä mutta eivät koe että kirkkaanvihreällä pohjalla valkoisin kirjaimin toistuva "syöpä 156230-109910" on heidän makunsa mukainen kangaskuosi.

    Se numerosarja on muuten avustustilin numero.

  • WOT? No more port wine?

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    Posted by jukkahoo

    So I went and saw a doctor today. This time he was the one blond (dyed) haired middle-aged dude, whom I had seen once before, but I can’t seem to place him. Where was this and why? Named Teerijoki (or close, actually more like "Teeri..mmumble.. How do you do?") apparently.

    Had a wee chat, where he told that as far as he can see, the Monday’s pictures look fine and dandy, but since there was no statement from the X-ray doctor, they’d phone me next week with the results. As to the other tests, everything else was well within the normal parameters – even my white cell levels, though they could be a bit higher – except my "virtsahappo" (seems to be uric acid), which was 509 (as opposed to normal range of approx. 190-460). This is a clear indication of a possible gout. A gout!

    No more port wine, then.

    As well as no more smoking. Dr. Teerimumble encouraged me not to start smoking, since (and this here was a bit cryptic in my mind) "one plus one is three in this case". Come to think of it, it makes perfect sense. Occasional cigar now and then is not out of the question, since "secondary smoking is everywhere and one does inhale the bad stuff once and a while".

    I had to ask about excessive drinking, but that apparently is up to the Big Boss ie. Sari. I consider excessive drinking being a bit more than few pints of beer at St. Urho’s Pub every other week.

    All in all, this looks very promising. Dr. Teerimumble said that at this point the risk of renewal is about 20% (after three months) and it’ll slide all the way down to about 5% within the first year. Three years from now we’re talking about a possibility of one percent or less. I think I’ll survive…

  • Hotsipal visit

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    Posted by jukkahoo

    Today I visited the Good Old Cancer Hospital and underwent some check-ups ie. blood and a CT.  And no, I have nothing to report on the health-side of things, since I won’t see a doctor until Thursday. So you just HAVE TO WAIT until that. I’ll report ASAP.

    Lots of needlemarks. A prick there, a prick here and a rather frustrated nurse, who apologised profusely for sticking a needle and then some into my arms. Couldn’t find a blood vessel that didn’t burst up the moment she tried to syringe some liquid to it. It really hurts when a needle is being injected to your hand. Imagine that four times. Finally (after six futile attempts) she was able to find a suitable vein from my left arm.

    Which burst right open the moment the scan was done and the iodine supply was shut. Luckily so. Blood all over the place. Didn’t stay for the clean-up. Waiting for Thursday and the verdict – fingers crossed.

    Kothar – Barbarian Swordsman was "eyeofargonish" to the very end. This really makes most rpg-fiction look like Nobel-prize contenders. Terribly satisfying to see, that you can get published, even if you don’t have a single intelligent or new idea in your head. And yes, it’s sad too.